Posts by Good JW

15

"Reaching out" in the org and personal confessions...

by Good JW in

going to be completely honest here, no feelings spared for me.

when i was a jw, one of my biggest motivations for "reaching out" was to become a "somebody".

i loved the idea of being a leader, teaching/training others.

Good JW

Will try to address most points from this thread...

Wasanelder Once wrote:
"I liked to lead also. I liked it because I was good at it and it brought me pleasure to serve others, to give to them. There is something selfish in all we do. I don't feel guilty for being competent. You examined yourself and found something else, I get that. I, on the other hand, accomplished a lot."

I guess you really have to draw the line between competence in something truly beneficial...and delusional (being a leader for the sake of being a leader).

Someone could be excellent at giving talks, winning arguments, charm etc but to what end? To further perpetuate a damaging high control group? If wisdom at large and humility is taken out of the equation then a so called "good leader" may just be good for getting followers and nothing much else. Then what happens when this competent person is challenged and called out for the lack of tangible "fruits"? The disguised ego takes over and it becomes more about them than the purpose to give to the group. They start to see the people they "serve" as their own possessions, and God forbid anyone tries to steal them away (denounce the leader's direction) since the leader's sense of self worth is built upon this ongoing adoration/respect. Hence the reason why many exJWs who were in positions of influence in the org struggle to adapt to "normal conditions" outside it - they still crave the ego stroking of being a somebody (often trying to gratify it in other ways).

That's not to say that the motives are always bad. All I know is that I have swayed between various emotions, and still do - from desiring to help people (a creative and zealous altruism), to other humbling feelings of realising the gaping holes in my own life which brings me crashing back to earth again :)

15

"Reaching out" in the org and personal confessions...

by Good JW in

going to be completely honest here, no feelings spared for me.

when i was a jw, one of my biggest motivations for "reaching out" was to become a "somebody".

i loved the idea of being a leader, teaching/training others.

Good JW

Guess what I'm trying to say is that it's become abundantly clear that humans are selfish by nature (instinctively) and although we strive to be what we're interested in, even if it's helping others there's still that self serving side.

To be a great leader involves putting yourself at the back and others before you. However, this takes a heck of a lot of experience. So none of this electing 20 or 30 somethings. You need to be "at the bottom" (gone through fire) before you can be of decent service. Funnily enough, because of this I think that disfellowshipped / "apostates" would make the better leader/teacher! My elders were extremely sheltered.

IMO, organised religion in general is not conducive to progress when it comes to leadership. It (especially WT) elevates this "I'm in charge" fallacy which does more to serve the system than the adherents. Sadly it also fosters a ridiculously arrogant hierarchy whereby people are put into boxes - "I do the thinking, you are the subservient one", and people lap it up because it's never seen in any other way. They also thrive on the comfort of following someone who looks confident.

I simply cannot be part of that rubbish; the ultimate goal should be of equality, and no excuses for spiritual abuse. I noticed the silly sex favouritism too, and true balance cannot be had with just one sex "spiritually ruling".

Of course, leaders are born and as has been mentioned it's not evil. However I do think that unless you are made fully aware of the human desire to be prominent, and until you have been almost at rock bottom, you won't serve any community very well (or at least not get to your potential).

15

"Reaching out" in the org and personal confessions...

by Good JW in

going to be completely honest here, no feelings spared for me.

when i was a jw, one of my biggest motivations for "reaching out" was to become a "somebody".

i loved the idea of being a leader, teaching/training others.

Good JW

Going to be completely honest here, no feelings spared for me. When I was a JW, one of my biggest motivations for "reaching out" was to become a "somebody". I loved the idea of being a leader, teaching/training others. Unless I was somehow explaining something, or showing someone what to do, I didn't feel fulfilled.

Knowing these feelings in part, and amongst other reasons, I decided the best thing to do would be to wait until my motivations for "serving in the congregation" were more pure and less egotistical. Considering I'm not even a very proud person (actually suffered from inferiority complex deep down), this says a lot about many who do end up in positions of power. It makes me wonder how much is self-service?

I now know that these motivations were stimulated by other things that were missing/wrong in my life, and being a "leader" was just a cover-up.

Even after I left, I still had to cope with this delusional part of me that wanted to "show other people what to do" spiritually speaking. It's egotism in disguise! Some still don't even know they're doing it...

15

Biting my tongue

by Jrjw in

i'm really biting my tongue at the moment with a certain witness.

he said he hates how the churches have lied to people, misled them, controlled them, got money out of them.

gouge can he noht see the wts has done that, i really wanted to say something so badly.

Good JW

like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders

That's because it has...then a couple of years later once you've settle down again you're like "crap, who exactly am I?"

lol

...and the journey of self discovery begins

15

Biting my tongue

by Jrjw in

i'm really biting my tongue at the moment with a certain witness.

he said he hates how the churches have lied to people, misled them, controlled them, got money out of them.

gouge can he noht see the wts has done that, i really wanted to say something so badly.

Good JW

Haha, I have to act like that for my JW mother when visiting. Bless her, she's so naive about TTATT I have no other option but to let her express herself. Common themes tend to be about how "forward thinking the society is" and how "the organisation is really growing" lol. One time I even set up her I-Pad so she can watch JW broadcasting! I felt violated that day :)

20

Whatever happened to the "written review"?

by pale.emperor in

does anyone know why the written review was stopped?

i relished the half hour silence they'd give you to "write down your answers", time i spend doodling or thinking up cool song lyrics..

Good JW

Waton - yes it must be very irritating when your sheep start using their brain. lol

10

On Grief and Loss

by jp1692 in

on grief and loss.

each and every tear is a memory.

and when you feel so intensely all that you have lost, you are also remembering everything that you have had.

Good JW

Thank you JP.

I have often wondered what the best course is for a person who's lost another in death - my dad died when I was 28 and I kind of buried the feelings. I thought of grief as something one must just "get over", but it doesn't work that way, nor should it be...as you've so poetically put it. The grief tags along with memories etc, something to experience rather than hide or run from.

20

Whatever happened to the "written review"?

by pale.emperor in

does anyone know why the written review was stopped?

i relished the half hour silence they'd give you to "write down your answers", time i spend doodling or thinking up cool song lyrics..

Good JW

Does anyone know why the written review was stopped?

It had that dangerous effect of making people think (to a certain degree). Nowadays they've figured how to let the brain slowly rot by sticking on Sparlock cartoons and Tight Pants Tony.

26

Generation

by Jrjw in

please could someone explain to me what the generation thing i keep seeing in people's threads was that had lots of people leave the wts coz it was way before i became a witness.

Good JW

Sorry, can't help much - I used to sleep during the (more than usual) bull crap...

22

Wierd Shunning Stories

by VW.org in

yesterday i went to a shopping center.

i saw a dub who was once a very friendly person.

he was about 10 metres from me when i noticed him.

Good JW

Some of the strangest shunning experiences for me is where they did it bipolar style. One minute they were making the effort (like that friendly "I still think you're ok" smile), the next minute you have some contagious disease or worse, don't exist. It's like they expected you to fall to the floor in gratitude for the crumbs they dropped.

"Let's give this heathen some encouragement, you never know, he might return to the true religion and Jehovah won't have to smite his ass"

If they acknowledge you, so be it, if not, who cares (not me anymore). Got my own life now that more resembles reality lol.